What's better than having your own pool in your own backyard? Having access to your neighbor's pool right next door. My family is blessed to have good and generous neighbors with an incredible pool a hundred yards away. The other night, I was doing my early evening ritual of swimming laps. When I finished, my kids were playing in the pool. My boy is nearly 10 years old and very athletic. My daughter is less athletic, very strong, and quite determined for a 13 year old. To keep them occupied, I suggested a freestyle race. Their race was very close but as one would expect, my older daughter pulled away the last 10 yards or so. But then what I witnessed stunned me. My boy gave up. He coasted in. He quit on the race and himself. I was livid but remained calm on the outside. However, I am quite certain the water around me was boiling. I was not proud to say the least.
Unknown to my boy, he served me up a wonderful "coaching moment." I immediately asked him to get out of the pool for 10 minutes and reflect on his quitting the race. He was not happy, but neither was I. I told him that he exhibited a loser's mentality, not for losing the race but for quitting the race. You see I come from the old school where losing is part of life, quitting should not be. Whatever you start, you finish. I told him no matter the outcome of any competition, I would always be proud of him as long as he did his very best and did so until the very end. While he was upset, it was a great learning lesson for him. As his "parental coach", you can bet I will stay on top of his little butt ... I mean, I will provide on-going tough love accountability on this topic.
I may have been a bit water-logged at the time but a blog topic surfaced in my mind. Like my son, do business owners ever quit the race too early? Do they occasionally give up? Do they fail to finish what they start? In less time than to say "on your mark, get set, go", I had my answer. Based on twenty years as a small business coach and CPA, I can say without hesitation that most small business owners engage in some type of quitting behavior every now and then. Do you?
I have seen business owners quit too early on an employee, customer or vendor. I have seen them quit on themselves and their dreams. I have seen start-up entrepreneurs quit right before things were ready to take off. I have seen owners quit too early on a new direction, new product line or project. I have seen them flee a proposal opportunity before it concluded or even end an acquisition prematurely. I have also seen them quickly give up on productive or healthy habits. What race have you quit too soon? What did you start and not finish?
While we are only human, why do business owners quit or fail to finish? I think the biggest reason is the same reason my boy quit ... the fear of failure. Instead of losing, he wanted to maintain control and quit. In his warped mindset he believed he could save face by quitting instead of losing. How wrong!
At times, like my boy, we owners simply do not want to face defeat or failure head on. We tell ourselves lies that we can quit and come up with some type of comforting excuse. We play a destructive mind game of denial so we can feel OK in the short run. While I admit that's a cowardly and faulty approach to business and life, for some, it's easier to quit than face the facts. But that's the point. When we quit, we miss out on those valuable facts. When we quit something too soon, we never really know how we would have fared. We don't get the answers to the following: What place did we come in? How much progress have we made? What worked? What didn't? What can we improve upon next time? Sadly, we deprive ourselves of critical and profitable feedback. Now that's a loser's mentality.
When it comes to swimming, my boy actually is gaining on my daughter. In a year or so, I predict he will be faster and stronger. However, I was amazed at how close the race actually was given their age difference. However, he never got to see his progress and enjoy such a close and heated race. He should have been proud. Instead, he quit! He got none of the valuable and momentum-building feedback.
We all have to get over the fear of failure. There is nothing wrong with failure if we try our best and learn during the process. Let's face it, we generally grow the most when we fail. Failure humbles us, opens up our minds, and prepares us to learn. I know my biggest failures in life have been followed by my biggest breakthroughs. My biggest business failures prepared me for my biggest business successes. Thank God, in my early 30's, right after starting my first business, I learned to play a positive mind trick on myself and replaced the word "failure" with "feedback." No matter what result I got, good or bad, I learned from the "feedback." As such, nothing bad ever really happens to me. I just get unintended results along with the valuable feedback to help me correct course.
As business owners, let's never quit the race early. Let's learn to deal with our fear of failure and see it merely as valuable feedback. After all, if we quit something too soon, we miss out on the real prize -- valuable information on which to gauge our progress and to make necessary corrections for better results.
Daniel M. Murphy
The Growth Coach
Business Coaching Franchise System